It is a phrase we hear often in the Christian world. It is often preached about, we see it on signs, paintings, t-shirts.
It is so common it can almost seem blase. It's easy to say, I know I for one am quick to say "God, here I am send me," but it is another thing entirely to live that out in our lives. Sometimes for me I say "Here I am send me," but the subtext is "Here I am send me (preferably to somewhere warm and Spanish-speaking and ideally near a beach. K thanks)."
I do honestly want to serve, to make a difference, but for me the more difficult thing is to stay.
I want the new, the different, the exciting. My soul longs for adventure. And to escape. Escape the everyday. the ordinary. But God has called me to be faithful. This spring/summer I have been telling God, "Here I am send me" on repeat and then maybe a little louder "Hey God! Send me!" I decided since I had been called to Nicaragua before He probably wouldn't mind if I went again even if I had not heard a call so I began to quietly plan my trip.
And then my sister sent me a message "have you seen what's happening in Nicaragua??" protests had broken out against the government, dozens were killed, and my plans came to a screeching halt.
I went through a time of mourning, what was I going to do with my summer??? I started teaching so I could travel and do missions is the summer (seriously. it's a good thing I love my job!) and not once has this plan worked!
And then He spoke. It is not just send me, but use me. Here I am, use me. Use me here, use me now. I need to be faithful in the small things to be used where I am at. Obedience is not just in the grand, but in the everyday. For me, it is no sacrifice to go. I long to be sent to the ends of the earth. But. God has called me to be faithful, and for this season that means stay. That is hard for me, to face a summer with no plans, no travel. This reminds me of David, when he says "I will not sacrifice that which cost me nothing." It may be small, but it is obedience, sacrifice to do what God has called, to set aside my wants, my desires and follow Him even when it means staying.
DISCLAIMER: By no means, am I discounting the work of foreign missionaries. That is a difficult life, to leave home, your culture, everything that is familiar and try to adapt to that of your new country.
